Spring exams are over.....and tomorrow we're all leaving for our spring internship for two weeks to Gujurat and the other parts of India! Looking forward but half of me aint much excited anymore like i was the last few weeks. Something's totally wrong with me for the last two weeks ive been feeling pretty unusually low and its such a bad feeling.
Everything's going very normal,im doing alright but my heart just dont feel alright. I got many people around me...people who love me, but deep inside i still feel alone. I can't open up myself to anyone, i try but i just cant seem to... my words get choked inside. Ive been let down by people i never thought would do that, been compared to others whom i cant be, never been appreciated of what i have or what i can do. And still being a girl growing up and trying to live in this world, its hard for me to get ahead when all these thoughts keep knocking on me!! Sometimes i wish they would accept me for who iam, for what im doing and for what im going to be!
All i need is for someone to sit with me and tell me they're here to listen to me, to encourage me atleast for once in my life! I need someone!! its always the same...everynight its just me talkin to God. i wish i had someone here literally to listen to me and not walk away! Everybody wants something out of me....but nobody seems to be there when i need somebody. I have to fake my laughter and my smiles... pretend evrything is super Fine even though nothings really super fine. i hate pretence. They lie to me, they think ill never know but im not a fool...its just not easy when people we love lie and hid the truth from us. That is what i get!
Maybe ill never be good enough for anyone, maybe im just the wrong kind of person for them, maybe ill just be like this forever....Lord will i really olways be like this...lonely???
how i really wish i had someone!God Knows how much i wish i had someone! jesus i need help:(
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