"mumble-fumble"!

I will be strong......Father help me through this!!
" i can do all things through christ which strengtheneth me" (philippians 4:3)
I cared for someone today with the Love of God...i hope you did the same too!!
God loves us all!!:)

[PS: Reminiscence- II will be continued...]

!!! REMINISCENCE !!!

THE BANDS THAT COMES AND GOES!

"de abstract elephantus B" :D

" Rooted - A"

" My first Design - Gothic bridal wear"

GROUP- C: GEOMETRY CLASS:)

UP IN DE TERRACE ON ONE LATE EVNING =)

HAHAHA- MY VNRT COVER PAGE!!!

**With Love to My Mommy**

To the women who is the epitome of a wonderful life,

I look at you and i feel blessed, you're the perfect image of God's beautiful creation.

You're touch connects the heaven to the earth,the key to joy to celebrate this blessed life.

The lessons that you've taught me, to love - to care - to believe and to hope,

i thank you for without you i couldn't be where i am today.

Your my comforter, my teacher, appreciating and forgiving all in all,

a reason i thank God at every moment, a prayer i always love to pray.

The fruit of Holy spirit is displayed in you, shining like a lamp in the dark.

Like a loving doe and a graceful deer, to the most beautiful of women.

To my mother, the fragrance of my life.

Your always with me in my heart!

I love you always and Jesus loves you much more too!

GOD BLESS YOU!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY:)

"God is Great,God is Good"

Even before i was formed in my mother's womb he knew my name,

Your grace is my guide in every single step of my life.

In him i find my hope, my comforter, my best friend,

I called you and you answered me,my rescuer,my Superhero.

I've learned in laughter and pain, he lighted my darkest hours,

where would my soul be without your amazing grace.

I am not afraid no matter where i am or where i go,

because i have a Father, he will never leave me alone.

Running to the lover of my soul, i live safe in your shelter,

I will never be ashamed of you, all i am is yours.

Everyday i rest in the thought that you are watching over me,

in you i am blessed, in you i put my faith.

Because i believe in Jesus,i found a peace that stills my soul,

Crucified and now risen is the King of heaven who died for me.

I give you my Life, i live for your name,

Everyday i will live to praise your name for all that you have done for me!!

I love you with all of my life, My Lord Jesus!!!

Psalms 71:17-18 ---> " since my youth,O Gd, you have taught me, and to this day i declare your marvelous deeds.Even when i m old and gray,donot forsake me,O God,till i declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come. Amen"

Tiny Little fractures!!

There are somethings i want to write...every word i try my best,

to think of something that would help me express the things i think,

i could be stuck here for a thousand years cos the perfect words never cross my mind!!

Nobody knows me behind these walls standing before me......

i may pretend like im sleeping when my tears start to fall,

you'll never know what you are doing to me,

you made me happier than i'd ever been,

but tonight you did it again, i lost the game with you not again!

Nobody knows the rythmn that my heart plays,

its just me and the walls lying here in the dark,

you're there so far away, and you'll never know what you do to me,

these little fractures you pinch in me, they're small but it hurts more.

Someone had told me to throw the words you promised me,

but i did not, i instead fought and defended you, me and us,

cos i thought they were all wrong and just jealous.

But oh, i was just too convinced and so lost in my coolness,

and now i cant even raise my voice, trying hard to create a new sunshine!

I'm always there and i've always been there for you,

but you never noticed me,you took evrything for granted,

So when tomorrow comes,don't be surprised if you dont find me here.

To think i may never see you ever again, pains my heart,

but all i want is for us to find a easier way own our own,

and i hope you'll remember me sometimes, maybe when the spring rain comes.

I'll make it through,i don't know how,but in the morning i know i'll be fine,

There's nothing you can do, nothing we can change,

i hope you realize now how it hurts to lose someone you had,

someone you never saw standing by your side untill its GONE!

Letter for Whom "RACISM"...is da six most hated word!!!

To,

You!!

Your mean..You were so mean...nothing new about it!! Always critical..always passing comment at me and all of us with these small eyes!! And its not just you...there are many others like you who are like you, who dosent wish to take me or even try to wish to respect me as one of you, as your fellow friend and fellow citizen!!! What can i do if God made me this way, it wasn't some kind of a joke that he played while he was creating ME!!!.

You and i ,you say and think we are different, but i wish so much more that you would realize that what you think is a fool's thinking! We belong to the same Creator if u have forgotten.... he made us different because things look pretty around when you have different varities! We live in the same country, same continent,same planet ,just that we dont live in the same house or that you aint my neighbour. But you...YES YOU----> you are so dumbishly-stupididly-idiotically-ignorantly lost in your own thinkings and perceptions that you dont want to even care to take a look at me as you see yourself in the mirrorven for a fraction of second!!

You make a Big Full NEWS if someone talk about you and your colour or even to those who look like you. You call them "Racist"....you bad mouth them---slash them---strike--pinch--throttle--kill them with your words(if only words could kill:(!)...but hey wait a minute ma'am's and sir's... before you even shout back your annoying-heart killing comments dont you even try to listen to the distant bell ringing and singing "what about you--->YOURSELF"??? How far do you think you are standing from those people whom your trying to slash off for calling you names-- the "racist" thingy!!!!!! Aren't you one of them.......you laugh at me....you call me "chinky-minke"....you dislike me even when you don't know a single shit about me but just my name(I don't even know you too...), you make that face..that very weird face when i pass by....man you look like a joker trying to screw his face.....ill remember to remind you next time you do that again..! All your attention is towards them because they look like you and they talk like you...you judge me just by my outer appearance and you think I'm bad because there are many people who looks like me are bad..but there are people who looks like you who are more worse than people who looks like me!....Your full of drama....your always masked and blinded... sometimes i feel sorry for you!

If i could i could also be as mean as you are to me........i could also try my best to slash-strike-throttle and kill you with my words but i ain't so barbaric or uncultured or heartless or inhuman to be so unkind!!! God has given me a heart , a small heart to love and i want it to grow big and not let it disappear!!!You hate me..please do its alright..tell it to me...just don't go on stabbing me with your words from behind...or from the corners...!!!!! I'm your sister-I'm your brother- I'm the image you see when you stand before the mirror...I'm a part of your family that God has made us to be...its just that i don't look like you....i don't live with you...and you are not my neighbour too!!!!!!! I wish so much and pray that you'll soon realize what I'm wishing for you, a heart to love and respect and accept, to care and understand and realize, a mind of wisdom and a brighter light that can make you see the depth of the hurt that you stab on me with your very unkind words!!

Hey you, i hope you understand a little bit of what i mean to tell you, its alright...i know nothing can change overnight but i wish and pray that you'll change in some years time atleast for the sake of our children who are to come someday after 10 years!!!

God Bless your heart........i mean all Peace to you!

Waiting for a change to come,

your small eyed,

sister-brother-friend-Neighbour

Stranger....wish we never MET!!!!!

You found me.....i said 'hi'...that was all we never spoke but just a smile. Months and months later i thought i should drop in to you and see how my stranger is doing.....we spoke and this time it was more than just a 'hi' and a smile, it was cool!! More than just the 'how are you'' and 'how was your day'.....we started to learn each of our own side's story not realizing the closeness that we were buliding up. Now i'm confused as hell and i'll never figure it out because you've taken my heart away!!! It wasn't me....its your fault...you made me fall for you:(!!! You say you love me but im scared bout the word!!!!!!!! I'm strong,im jaded,im stubborn but i break.......and i wish so much the 'poles end' feeling that im going through! I get scared and i feel like a mess....."hey stranger do you feel the way i do??".

I know you but it aint what i really want to know about......but all i want to know is the real person behind that mask!!! They asked me what am i doing with you...why am i walking on the road that has no horizon.....but i didnt listen because i wanted to give a try......i wanted to make the road beautiful and maybe create a sunny horizon at the end....but i guess i planned way too much...living on my useless imaginations again!!!

So many things i've learnt from you.......a part of me is glad that i said 'hello' to you....a part of me regrets!!! I'm sorry stranger but i think i'll have to go now....one day we will meet again..and maybe than i'll be able to explain to you...every little bit about why i had to do this! I'm not proud, i'm not strong...i'm not weak,im not lost......im just a silly someone!! Thank you is all i can say to you......"Stranger....i wish we never met cos its so hard for me now to take my heart back from you!!"

When Love dont Fall on My side:S!!!

Okayyy...its valentines day again:S....not really the day....deas still two hours left to go for it to be "D-Day"!! Nyways dosent matter to me.....just another normal day for me...(sad)..lol!

Its kinda weird though that i still dont have a boyfriend.....well i Never..... and i dont kno why... i still dont understand!!! But sometimes i guess its all for the best for me....maybe God has something special planned for me..someone special( wherever u are)..hmmmmm...lol!

As the lovers celebrate their lovee....Im going to clebrate singles day wid all my single frens:d.....

go to kfc..order the same old meal hahhaha.....or maybe do some shopping:))!

Nyways...Cheers to all you Lovers.....Cheers to myself for being single even when im already 21:D.........God Bless!!

Happy Valentines day!! :))

StEaL mY SunShInE!!!!

"Summer has already kissed me with its first sunrays,

sipping coffee in the cafeteria....i watch pretty birds sit by the window,

feels like they are telling me not to worry,

that its alright to feel like nothing's going right...

because even God feels that way too.

Lonely and tired even though there's many friends around,

lying on the green grass...you stare at the blue sky,

'relax' ...a silent voice whispers in your ear,

its okay to feel afraid sometimes,

God knows each step that you take.

Seasons change....so does everything including you and i,

You show you are strong by hiding that agony behind,

but than why do you cry yourself to sleep at night?

dont you ever think that your all alone...

God cares for every soul that cries.

Sweet summer wind blow through the open window,

singing to me to leave tomorrow's cares alone....

run out and enjoy the present joys....

nothing will steal my sunshine......

even when summer leaves....God's sunshine will always be upon you!!

Beginning from the End!!

"Maybe you're at the point of not wanting to go.

Coming to the end of yourself emotionally...

could be the most painful experience you've ever encountered.

Don't give up but take courage...it'll all be alrite very soon.

Even when you are obedient to the Lord...you are put to test.

You wonder how a believer could feel so alone and forsaken,

being a child of God intensifies your desperation.

The skies of adverity may not clear immediately...

but have Faith his grace will sustain you,

for a christian,wholeness always comes after brokenness.

The best things that come to us are by letting God have his way,

all the tests and trials are way's of God showing his undying love for you.

Cling to the Lord in faith..God can use this kind of "beginning from the end"!

Though you're broken still smile and sing along.....

Sometime ...sometime we'll understand!!.....

A note to God!

"Hey Lord,

I wish i knew how to start this......i dont know if i should question you or should i ask you 'please Lord'...or should i say thank you or should i cry 'why lord'!!!!

You've known me all of my life.......you've watched over me even ever since i was in my mother's womb! Im 21 still i wish i knew you more than i do now.......!!! You've blessed me with so many unseen blessings.....blessings that i cant even count.....made me see and live the bitter truth of life! But there have been times when you took me really down.....i know that was just a test you were putting me through to see my faith and i know i havnt let u down!

But lord there are times like this when i cant help aking you why do u put me through all these moments. There are many people who dont know you....people who dont even care to say "you are God"...yet you make them live life like its heaven here. While you make your children cry...make them run through these hurdles..."why lord..why??"!!!!!

Yo've brought us this far.....i dont know your plans but i know you've got a big good plan for me and all your other children...you kno who im talkin about. Please Lord bless them more than you bless me. Dont let them fall as much as i do....carry them swiftly...."HELP" them....they need you!!!

This is all i want from you....this is all i ask from you..please Lord!!

Im sorry if ive said anything to offend you.....i hope you understand me :(!!!"

with love,

ure child :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Blow this candle and make a wish....
a wish for the new year that has come,
a wish for the dreamthat you always wanted to see,
a wish for a life you wanted to have.
Close your eyes and say a prayer,
maybe for the star that you wanted to be,
maybe for the love that you looked for,
maybe for the life that you have missed.
Another year,another wish to make,
a wish that we made a wish today,
a wish that we never said goodbye,
a wish for all these wishes to come true.
I Blow this candle for you,
I make a wish for you,
i know the party's much better up there,
With all the saints and angels to sing for you,
But hear me sing for you too....
Happy Birthday to you....
may God always take care of you!!
I always miss you.....!:)

How does it feel????

Wonder how it feels to be living without ever having said "goodbye" to some one who means the world to us.....
Wonder how it feels to miss that someone and know that we'll be seeing each other again and not live with the fact that you'll never see them again but only in heaven!
Wonder how it feels to live without being sick......no pretence but really live without any medicines and pain that one goes through,
Wonder how it feels to get what we wish for atleast for once and not just what we only want!
Wonder How it feels to complete a day with just happiness and not cry when the night falls.
Wonder how it feels to be loved and loved and not feel the presence of loneliness atleast for a day!
Wonder how it feels to feel all of these........
Wish i knew how it feels!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RACING CARS!!

Another endless day......i cry back to my consciousness,

the coldness grips my skin as i remember that day....

silently i watch the dark sky to make myself feel better!

Lost with loneliness by my side.... i leave my footprints here,

feel like a stranger still.....even though ive already been here for always.

Party and all the things these mens play....these are the good life that's what they say,

and as i stare at them, they ask me "is that where you belong?"

They tell me im looking for something that can never be found,

just missing out the things by just standing where i am!

I wish so hard that i could prove them wrong.....to feel sorry for them,

but it so happens they always reach wherever they want...

while i still struggle with all the breaks and the bends and....

Sometimes it all feels like im just walking on like ive missed the place...

but than i hear a voice calling out to me to keep on moving.

I remember when i first held the wheel in my own hands,

took the steering so eagerly and drove myself away....

away into this distant land with many a milestone left behind.

It was easy than but now there's too many bend on the road...

too many blocks....yet still i drive on gripping hard on the steering!

Many passed me by....all looking out for something,

some may have found...some may be still searching....

like racing cars, i race myself into these long unwinding road,

keeping my speed through this darkness of odyssy,

leaving a prayer for all those who've stayed behind.....

I'm learning to live with God's gift....the lights are blinding....

but i know i'll reach somewhere soon..

because i know these wide open spaces are going to take me.....

close to the horizon that is far yet so near.....close to where i belong!!!!!!!

Christams joys:D

Its 11.16pm,6th december......and soon after another half an hour itll be 7th december than 8th than 9th....than itll be 20th n ill be flying home and wen 21st comes ill be 'home sweet home':) for christmas time with my family and relatives. Its almost been a year since ive been home so you know the excitement im going through right now is like...."WOOOOOOOOOOOOOWW"..lol!! Our family we got this really different tradition that is when everyone celebrates their thanksgiving on november...'My family' does it on the 30th of december:))! This day all the relatives get together from morning 6am..We have a prayer fasting till 11am....our parents let us off early...i mean they pray for us then let us out...while they continue praying [PS: me and the other kids we dont follow this fasting rule...as soon as were out.....our fav spot..."The Dinning room":D]!! I'll tell you me and my cousins we totally love the get together but jus dont like the part of getting up so early in the morning especially on a december morning...when its so freaking cold...and all you want to do is keep having sweet dreams...warm under your blanket:))!!!

I dont know how you all feel but for me christmas time is all about sharing the joy and love with one another more than how much we have shared throughout the whole year<3.

Its such a beautiful time of the year......happiness just flows endlessly...my smile is stuck to my face..lol!! How wonderful Jesus was born in this time of the year.....just imagine him..'a lil baby lying on the manger'..the stars shining upon him..the wise mens kneeling before him with all the goodies;)!!

Ive already started wishing people a merry christmas....but when i do so...some of them they give me that weird look on their face.."why is she wishing so early" looks u kno..hehhe!! But i dont care for me the whole december is christmas time:))! I miss being at home at this time...i always miss the part of decorating the house and lighting of the christams tree.

And yeah i miss my Delhi days too....my praise and worship team in the church, the advnt christmas celebrations...church gatherings..youth fellowships:))..! Last year our church in Delhi we celebrated the advnt christmas at my uncle's place...it was so fun.....singing carols.... dramas...dances....gift exchange and my favourite part...Dinner:p..lol!! those were the days:((!

This year im stuck up in the college with exams......not studying at all but only counting bout the days left to go hme:P [even rite nw]!!

I think im already writing too much and its already 7th morning...0.16am..lol!! Gotta say goodnight to the day!!.....

M going to continue with the-coutning-the- days:0....i hope you all have a beautiful blessed christmas as well:)).....!! Ill catch up with my christmas-at-home story later:))!!!

God bless you......lov ya<3......

MERRY CHRISTMAS:)