Happy 26th!!!

Happy Birthday amu:).

Can't believe you've turned 26 today....you would have been a big man today - my brother who bullied me a "big man" :D!! Been so many years now since we last celebrated your birthday together. I remember the last was when you turned 16, i was more excited than you haha. Who knew that, that would be your last birthday with us. I still have the cards that our cousins gave you, you couldn't take them with you. Sixteen years you had, and i was lucky to have spent twelve years with you, how selfish God was,he didnt let me have you for more than that :(!

Your birthday reminds me of our days, our beautiful life we had in the sunshine. I miss them so much every bit of it, nobody knows how much i miss you:( ! i wonder how you would have looked today,all grown up. I know you would have been so handsome, your ever wicked smile that made all the girls go "ooh" for you back in school days, wonder how much effect that smile would have cost now haha. And i think you would have been the tallest in our family, and maybe you would be matured enough to not bully me anymore:)!

We miss you everyday!! Daddy dosen't tell but we all know how much he misses you. He always clears up your old trunk and keep your clothes folded and neat, if only you could come back. Mommy misses you soooo muchhh, you know how mommy is, you shouldn't have left so soon. She even cried today because its your birthday but you arent here with us. Only the good Lord knows this heartache. Big brother's so lonely without you,his bestfriend and his brother.

Life seems so unfair sometimes, empty spaces of you fill our hearts....where did you go? wish i could speak to you, have a talk and maybe laugh at our silly life. Our memories now locked in my heart, i open to see them to be sure that i haven't lost it, ive lost you and this is all i have of you. As i sit here on the rooftop and write to you, i know you're watching over me, but i can't see you nor can i speak to you, life's so cruel!

I guess this is all i have to write to you today, have a beautiful Birthday with everyone up there, but know that im thinking of you. I can't wait for the day when ill be there with you...i know it aint very long from now.

My regards to grandpa, uncle and my cousin brothers....tell them i miss them too always and they're always in my heart.

I miss you so much amu.....i love you.

your sister forever,

me:)

In the Morning......

In the morning, as the sun rises from somewhere between the green mountains,
she watches father sitting alone out in the stairs,lost in thoughts,
far away from today,silently she sits beside him and takes his hand,
in silence they share the moment,Tears behind his eyes,holding her hands in his,
he smiled n said,"Baby you see the sun, promise that you will shine for me like that someday?"
In the morning, as the cold wind blows and the fog clears for the day,
she sees mother sitting by the window,bible in her hands,she out,
dreaming about the hands of destiny,silently she sits by her side,
In silence they can both feel the pain, with tears in her eyes she said,
"Baby don't ever let the world get in your way!"
In the morning, father i will be your sun always shining for you,
When the night falls and the stars light up the night, we will say that prayer again,for life to be kind.
Even through the cold winter we will never give up,we will preay for spring that will never leave.
Ill stay by your side,ill always be your little girl,she promised,
you'l never have to come searching for me, because ill be there in the morning!

Wishing fLOWER!

I MISS YOU..... dats all =)

Hatsukoi!

So here i go with everything on my head again,

no second guessing and no more waiting,

This is where we meet and this where we say goodbye.

you've been so good to me, been patient enough,

and you've loved me enough,ill never forget,

its just sad we couldn't make things workout.

But yeah we were meant to say goodbye,

even if it wasn't today someday we would have,

so take heart we'r just making things easier!

I love you so much but sweetheart,i think you've hurt me enough now,

and time will take me along untill i realize you're my yesterday.

This ride was sweet with you and its sad my road is different now,

maybe we'll meet again in the other bend down the lane,

lets see what happens then,lets see where we'll be standing.

Its time now, lets hug for the last time!

I cry!

Do you know how it feels like to love somebody,
but somebody's ashamed to call you theirs.
Do you know how much that feeling hurts,
it makes you take a heavy breath, leaving you an empty space in your heart.
Have you ever faked that happiness to make somebody smile because they need you,
even though your all broken up inside.
Do you know how it feels to push yourself everyday,
telling yourself everything will turn out alright, even though nothings seems to be getting right.
What do you do when all the promises made to you were jus false lies,
everything remains to be a dream, dreams thats never going to come true.
Down this line, i think im already ready with my decisions,i don't know where its going to lead me to, but yeah im prepared for the consequences.
I've been so confused out of my mind; i swear i never had felt this way before,
Keeping you as mine,who knew that it would be this tough.
Im not sure what i should do next, all these times we had together,
seems like we never really had it, like we never started.
You're so far away, you dont see me and you don't feel me,
i'm just trying to mend us everyday, for your sake,for my sake ,for our sake!
Dark clouds are surrounding me, its gonna rain soon,
i think i should just go to sleep and pretend again like everythings right.
I see a light shining far down the road, somewhere in time,
a lonely light to lead me on!
I'm strong, i have faith.......please don't let me down!

Untamed Nights!

Coming back to these fall, can't run anywhere , can't hold up these feeling anymore.

So you lie down all alone up in the roof, watch in silence at the starry night,

Cars honking at the distant highway, you cry yourself out to the wind!

Nobody knows where you are, nobody knows how broken you feel,

put up that smile, fake those laughters,you achieve in pretending evrythings right.

God knows how much you wish, God only knows your eyes can't hold those tears anymore.

So is this it? you question to the sky above, because you know someone's up there.

In a sudden rush you find yourself wading into the memoirs of an hour back,

memoirs of yesterday,memoirs of last year, memoirs of when you were thirteen,

memoirs you want to forget but it only haunts you back like a movie scene being replayed.

Heartaches,pains,hurts,regrets all peirces you at de same moment,

Life is as hard as it gets, u comfort yourself, what's the point no one's going to understand you.

So u stand back to your feet again, remove that tear stains on your face,

your eyes will tell them but who cares,i dont care at all,

im a human, i need to cry too, let my pain out and make myself feel better!

This is just another night ,ill sleep and wake up to a new day,i know ill be alright,

but sometimes it just gets really hard to pass this kind of nights!

* Happy 22 to me *

Friday 25th september 2009 : Im 22!
22 years back i was born on this day at 9 am with the church clock ringing in the far side, that what they have always told me! :)
this year i felt pretty weird...i was shy when people wished me and i didnt really feel like it was my birthday until they wished me:/ ....maybe im growing old and im not much excited anymore?? naw but that can't be cos i aint really old to feel bored about birthdays..naw :D!!
maybe too much of college work load got the toll over me...yes too much work that's the only reason behind- classes from morning 9 till evening 6 couldnt make ure birthday special! but yes the video chat with my cousins and famil,the cake cutting surprise, the signed tee-shirt and the quiet lovely dinner with my roomates made up the whole day! :))!!

m getting weirder everyday.....dorkier...but i still Love Jesus- that's the best part....and my love keeps growing everyday for him!!!
Thank You Lord for my life.....i owe it all to you!
Jesus Rocks- Jesus is Love!

~~ JESUS FREAK ~~

"What will people think when they hear that i'm a Jesus freak? What will people do when they find that its true?what will people think,what will people do???? I don't care if they label me a Jesus freak, i don't really care, what else can i say, because there ain't no disguising the truth!"

Because i love Jesus and because i believe that no matter whatever happens... through happiness or sorrow or pain or difficulties, i Believe everything happens for the good, and that even though i maybe wading through the most darkest path of my life, God is just testing my faith and he's working for a better day for me and i tell the same to all those people i care for! And when i tell this to my friends, many of them had smiled at me, i dont kno what they think behind and many of them have even mocked at me and labelled me "Jesus freak"!!! I didn't care and i don't care.....no name can be cooler than being called a Jesus freak:D!!! That's my faith and im never ashamed of Loving My Jesus...for all the blessings he has blessed me with, even if it takes my whole lifetime ill never be enough from saying thank you Jesus!!!

Somedays back i just finished reading a book called "Jesus Freaks- a book filled with stories about those who martyrd their lives, standing up for Jesus. The ultimate Jesus Freaks!

I read it over and over again....every story touched my heart and i found strong and faitthful were all these children of God who sacrificed their lives for his name! Being a christian and being called a child of God i couldn't imagine myself in their position. I felt ashamed!But then i learned too that though, i or even you, may not be called to martyr our lives, we can still martyr our way of lives march to a different beat and let the world see Jesus :)!

Jesus was the non-conformist of all times. He walked the world as the human voice of God.So many people today potray Jesus as weak, the out-of-date artifact hanging on a church wall or in a stained glass window hoping for a brighter day! We live in a world thats now built with pride,greed, materialism and dedication to statusquo. In a world like this that is built in free will instead of God's will, we must be the Freaks!!!!

There are more christian martyrs today than there were in 100 Ad-in the days of the roman empire! According to the world Christian Encyclopadia, there were close to 156,000 christian martyrd around the world in 1998 and another 164,000 estimated to hav been martyrd in 1999! So can you imagine how many must have been martyrd today- 2009???!!!! There are so many still today who are being killed because they proclaim jesus as their King. Pray for them!!!

"Lets us stand together with our brothers and sisters around the world through prayers and faith, because no matter what happens, no matter what i face or how the end may look to be like, we know at the end we will be vitorious. We will inherit Eternity and heaven:)!!

"Remeber the Lord's people who are in the prison and suffering.Never forget them but imagine that you are with them- Hebrews 13:3"

"LET THE PEOPLE THINK AND SAY WHATEVER THEY WANT TO. WE WILL NEVER BE ASHAMED OF YOUR NAME AND YOUR GOSPEL. I CAN DO NOTHING ELSE BECAUSE

IM A JESUS FREAK!!"

"Im a Blessing to the Nations"

This has been the theme for our 5 days of "summer bible school" this year!!! Tomorrow's our final day....its de final celebration......excited at the same time..feeling kinda sad about how fast the days have passed!
I got to be a part of this years team by voluntering in teaching the children! And ive had the most amazing blessed time..taking me back to my childhood days when i used to attend the summer bible school evrytime i come home for vacations:)! Being with the kids...doing the praise and worship, talking about Jesus and the love of God, sharing the gospel together.....i know ive recieved much blessings...and i thank the Lord for letting me to live even today and experience his love all over again!!!

"For all who seek to follow the truth....Taste the Love of Jesus and you'll Know wot true love is all about!! Seek his light...Seek His love.....Let Jesus come and Live in your Life today!!"

God Is GREAT...God IS LOVEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:Silent smile:

They always say "we are all humans no matter how many people surround us we still feel alone sometimes"!!!
and why is tat????
:(
Jesus only knows me!!!!

..Clueless bloggin!!!

What happened i don't know.......but somewhere down the line i'll take the blame! Small things you'll never know that you did it....small things i did to break you, maybe i was wrong...i guess you didn't realize what you had done! We are all humans....mistakes are just another family of ours. All we can do is forgive, forget and love! No matter how much it hurts, i'll say a prayer and i know it for sure, ill be alright! God forgive me if i was the reason for the hurt in your heart....i said a prayer for you too....!
You mean much to me...like a song in my heart! Everyday i pray for blessings on you more than the blessings that i recieve!!! Your one of the reason i pray and i couldn't ask for a better reason than you...a miracle i pray i'll get to witness one day:)!!

Love...God bless your beautiful soul!!!

"WHERE DO I STAND??"

Today while listening to the Pastor's sermon it kind of hit me hard that it made me to think twice more than what i usually do!! "WHERE DO I STAND???"

Well the sermon was taken from the scriptures of Luke chapter 9 verses 51-62 on the cost of following Jesus!
There are three kinds of people living in this life:
a) Those who are very thirsty for God's word
b) Those who are sometimes thirsty and sometimes they aint.
c). Those who are not thirsty at all.

They're so many people around me and us who still lives without Christ in them! They're so lost in the world's idolized atmosphere that they donot realize to remember who their real maker is! They don't even try to know him...or even sit to wonder about how the reason why they're living. Its sad to see them living this way, sad to see them paving their own paths to hell. These are the unthirsty people.......caught up in this artificial world, lost in this hell!
Keep praying for them that they will soon learn to recieve His grace and love!

They're another set of people who are thirsty for Thy word sometimes and sometimes they totally forget about it! These people are worse than even those people who don't know about God, atleast they donot sin in being double faced! These set of people seem to remember God only when they're in trouble and they need safety and protection. They get all religious, fastings after fastings, prayers after prayers, and once the storm is over they seem to forget what the good Lord has done for them! As a believer this is the biggest sin one can ever make.

Last but not the least the third set of people who are olways hungry and thirsty for God's words more and more. No matter whatever road they are in, they're faith never falls, they're hope always keep rising, and these are the faithful children of the Lord! Ever ready to give their life for the good Lord, never falling off from the Lord's sight....Praise God!

Now my friends where do you think do you stand? r u like the first set of people paving your own way to hell, or are u living a life of sin like the second set of people or are you like the third set of people with such faith that even if you die now you believe you'd go to heaven!!!
where do you stand?? see where you stand before its too late....Life is short!

God Bless you all:)!

"mumble-fumble"!

I will be strong......Father help me through this!!
" i can do all things through christ which strengtheneth me" (philippians 4:3)
I cared for someone today with the Love of God...i hope you did the same too!!
God loves us all!!:)

[PS: Reminiscence- II will be continued...]

!!! REMINISCENCE !!!

THE BANDS THAT COMES AND GOES!

"de abstract elephantus B" :D

" Rooted - A"

" My first Design - Gothic bridal wear"

GROUP- C: GEOMETRY CLASS:)

UP IN DE TERRACE ON ONE LATE EVNING =)

HAHAHA- MY VNRT COVER PAGE!!!

**With Love to My Mommy**

To the women who is the epitome of a wonderful life,

I look at you and i feel blessed, you're the perfect image of God's beautiful creation.

You're touch connects the heaven to the earth,the key to joy to celebrate this blessed life.

The lessons that you've taught me, to love - to care - to believe and to hope,

i thank you for without you i couldn't be where i am today.

Your my comforter, my teacher, appreciating and forgiving all in all,

a reason i thank God at every moment, a prayer i always love to pray.

The fruit of Holy spirit is displayed in you, shining like a lamp in the dark.

Like a loving doe and a graceful deer, to the most beautiful of women.

To my mother, the fragrance of my life.

Your always with me in my heart!

I love you always and Jesus loves you much more too!

GOD BLESS YOU!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY:)